Strategies for Embracing Change

 

In the Southern Hemisphere we are about to shift from Autumn to Winter. It’s become cold and wet in the last few weeks and it’s time for us to adjust for the coming Winter cycle. As a species this generally means spending a little less time outdoors and a little more time turning inwards, keeping warm and being with family and friends.

I’ve been exploring the concept of change very much in the last few months. With my ever-growing belly and the imminent changes that will accompany this beautiful new life, I’ve been taking stock and coming up with creative ways to help me embrace the changes now, and into the future.

When in your life have you faced change, whether small or large? Maybe it was loss of someone special to you through death or distance, perhaps a new job, starting a family or travelling to a distant city or land? How did you process this change? What helped you through it?

My current transition in life is the shift from ‘maiden to mother’ and I am yet to discover just how profound this change will be. As a previously ‘single’ independent woman I’m about to become part of something much bigger – a family. It’s an exciting and intense time and I’m awaiting the birth of this little babe with much anticipation. But enough about me…

 

What have been the biggest changes in your life?

We all have defining moments in our lives. Falling in love. Accepting or making a marriage proposal. Choosing to travel interstate or abroad for work /love / play. Moving house. Getting divorced or separating from a relationship. Coping with a diagnosis of ill health. Starting a business or new venture. Changing careers. Children leaving the nest.

These are big ticket items that really do call for you to do the emotional and spiritual work – whether you are ready or not!

 

So What are Some Key Strategies for Coping With Change?

 

1. Catch Yourself In the Midst of Change

Once of the most powerful things you can do is acknowledge when your life is actually changing and be a witness to your own spontaneous process at that moment in time. It’s much more empowering to be able to grab the reigns at this point and steer a clear course through the fog rather then fumble, fall off the horse and reflect back on it later. (But if you have fallen off the horse that’s ok. Just pick yourself up and get back on!)

You will feel stronger and more capable if you are alert and aware in the midst of change and really support yourself to achieve the outcome you desire from the situation.

 

2. Learn to Let Go

Buddhist philosophy states that we tend to suffer most when we cling to things. Whether it’s people we are holding on to, material objects or circumstances, attachment can become almost like an illness – causing us to be afraid, anxious, or upset when things change.

Regularly practising the art of letting go is a useful thing. You can do this by clearing your home of things you no longer need including clothes or personal items. You can also try cutting the ties from old emotional baggage, including situations or people that are no longer in your life.

To do this, close your eyes and visualise these things or problems from the past drifting away from you in a hot air balloon. You can use lots of varied creative visualisations to cut the ties, click here to find out more.

 

3. Use Ritual and Celebration

Personally I find that ritual and celebration are wonderful ways to mark transition points in my own life. You could host a party or event to celebrate an important occasion, raise money to support a favourite charity, bake a special cake or make a meal for loved ones or friends, do a spell, write a song or poem, or create a piece of artwork that you can display at home to symbolise a specific change and how well you coped with it.

The memories of these rituals or events can all be used as an anchor when things are difficult and the seas are rough!

 

4. Remember Growth Comes from Struggle

A wise friend once taught me that growth doesn’t happen while life is smooth sailing and easy. The real growth – the lightning-speed evolution stuff – happens when life is hard, when we face real challenges, like losing a job or moving to another city without loved ones or our support networks.

These times of epic struggle can become our greatest teacher as we have to dig deep, be resourceful and find our inner gold.

Many times in life it is only after our darkest hour that we finally see the light and can evolve to the next level spiritually and emotionally. However, in order to learn the lesson (and not repeat the scenario), we must in fact do the work and not just stick our head in the sand hoping it will all go away. The work is different for everyone, but it may call for us to journal, paint, write, sing, talk, love or somehow process our way through the change in order to move forward.

In his book ‘True Love’ Thich Nat Han writes of a Buddhist teaching that is just so sweet… he highlights duality in life, describing in depth that we need the dirt, the grit, and even the s*&# in nature to make compost, and without compost we cannot have the beautiful flower. I just love this. We need the compost! Don’t wish it away. Embrace the struggle.

 

And my biggest tip?

 

5. Be Your Own Coach

Be your own coach and support and love yourself through the period of transition. As with all things in life – know that ‘this too shall pass.’

This can be a very reassuring mantra when you’re suffering or things are bad, but also a good reminder when life is good that it also, won’t  last forever (this is very powerful for increasing your feelings of gratitude for life!)

All good coaches know that what you tell yourself on a daily basis is more important than what anyone else tells you. So tell me – how is your inner dialogue?

Are you giving yourself regular pep talks or putting yourself down every 5 minutes?

Positive affirmations, kind self-talk, and a healthy lifestyle are a brilliant foundation for coping with life no matter what it brings you.

Here’s to change, the only thing we can be truly certain of in life!

xx