Why I Broke Down at the Baby Expo | the Plight of Mama & Baby

I was shaken to the core on Friday. An experience that ripped my heart out of my chest. But as sad as it was, it was also like a lightning bolt of love, a catalyst for change – and it reminded me that I am part of something bigger than myself, bigger than my own family. So why did I break down at the baby expo? First let’s go back in time…

When Leonardo was a newborn we would take him outside each day for fresh air so he could connect with nature and begin to learn day from night (and help us all sleep better!)

One foggy sleep-deprived day when he was 3 weeks old I was particularly tired and feeling a little teary. I remember standing on the back deck, looking up at the grey wintery sky and having a cry. Any woman will tell you pregnancy and birthing hormones can be a real rollercoaster!

As I gazed at the clouds, a tear rolled down my cheek – and then like a bolt of lightning I had a sudden flash of sacred connection to all of the mamas of the world.

Every mama everywhere was suddenly in my heart and I was overwhelmed with the intense love that comes with birthing a baby, collective feelings of physical and emotional pain and a sense of overcoming of adversity.

It was a universal implosion and simultaneous outpouring of love and affection, like a giant, warm, cosmic mama-hug from all over the world.

In an instant I was one with Mama Earth or Gaia… (in Greek mythology Gaia was the mother goddess who presided over the earth.)

I felt reconnected with a whole tribe of women – women simply wanting to love and care for their babies and see them thrive.

It was astonishingly beautiful this feeling that washed over me. I was human. I was woman.

I had that same feeling again on Friday while in the middle of the baby expo.

It does kind of make sense as I was surrounded by women! But it was not the women standing beside me I was feeling connected to – once again it was the women of the world.

And here’s why….

‘Excuse me miss, I would really like to talk to you now’ came a polite, sing-song voice from behind me – a voice full of hope, yet with an undertone of urgency. Almost a pleading.

I turned and smiled. I was met with the smiling face of a man who thanked me for stopping, quite ferociously in fact, making me wonder if anyone else had stopped or if people were just walking right on by.

His organisation was UNHCR (which is the Australian branch of the United Nations Refugee Agency) and he himself was a refugee from Pakistan.

He went on to show me pictures of displaced refugees and told me statistics that blew my mind – 7000 Syrians still leaving the country every day, crossing the border hoping for a new life, a better life.

He had me – a captive audience.

But it wasn’t until he began to talk about the sobering statistics for pregnant women and babies that I felt an absolute arrow to my heart.

Each year, thousands of women all around the world continue to die due to complications during pregnancy and childbirth. The risks are even greater for displaced and refugee women and babies living in poverty and unsanitary conditions without access to prenatal or obstetric care.

He went on to show me a birthing kit the UNHCR provide to mothers in refugee camps to help them survive childbirth and reduce infant mortality rates.

This was what unleashed the tears.

The kit contained a plastic sheet. A sterile piece of cotton for ‘cutting the cord’ and a thin cotton wrap for the baby.

That was it.

I was so humbled.

My eyes began to well up.

And then the tears let loose. I literally broke down. I’m not talking silent tears either – I’m talking the sobbing, body-heaving kind of tears.

His sweet assistant – a young woman handed me a tissue. I unceremoniously blew my nose, sobbed again and then eventually composed myself!

‘For just 45 cents you could buy one of those kits’, he said.

Wow.

In Australia there is very little you can buy for 45 cents – not even a litre of petrol.

Now – I am a new mama, not yet back at work (with a limited income) but I wanted to do something.

My heart told me I needed to contribute in some small way.

So I made a pledge, which I felt at peace with.

It’s not the first time I’ve given random amounts to random organisations when I have felt called to.

I say this not for accolades, but just to share the experience. To bring awareness I guess. I don’t always tithe regularly, but when I feel the pull – I go with it.

It was only a small gesture, but it was my intention that counts.

Every bit helps right?

A little piece of my heart broke that day.

I feel changed from this experience, reconnected to the women of the world…

And so I ask…

What would you have done?

Have you ever pledged time or money to an organisation?

Share your thoughts below…

Or feel free to private message if you prefer to keep it close to your heart.

I understand full well – the heart can be a fragile thing.

 

Much love,

 

 

 

 

 

 

Elizabeth Santos is a holistic physiotherapist and naturopath who home-birthed baby number one in 2015. She lives in the Adelaide foothills with her family.

Elizabeth offers Earth Mama Sessions – 1:1 Skype consultations for women who are pregnant and hoping to have the most natural birthing experience they possibly can. 

Book a free introductory 15 minute discovery call here and feel genuinely supported on your unique and sacred journey into mamahood. Discover how to conquer your fears and make informed choices so that you feel empowered at every step.